Essay/Term paper: Alcoholism

Essay, term paper, research paper:  Alcohol and Drugs

Alcoholism

Brandie M. Lee

I woke up from coma wondering what had happened to me. "I am going to
die, what have I done to myself." "Does my mother know?" She will kill me. "I
am so SCARED!"
Most kids my age, who only had their grandma and grandpa never knew what
it was like to have a great-grandmother. Not only was she the best great
grandma but she also played the role of a mother. To me I consider her to be an
angel sent from heaven, to show some of us a few lessons about life.
Her name was Josephine Catalici, an Italian woman born in Naples, Italy
in 1906. She died this past summer. She was about 5'5" and very beautiful.
She was good hearted, gentle, devoted, and open handed in everything she did.
Josephine was always out to help someone in need. She considered other people
to be first priority. She was the type of person who was almost perfect, always
pleasing someone else and making one feel proud of themselves.
My great-grandmother was the type of person to bring out the best in
everyone. As a child, I needed that because my home had its ups and downs. My
parents were separated and I had been living with my mother. She was a young
parent and did things that most mother did not. For instance, as a child she
would leave me alone and sometimes physically abuse me. Therefore, I sometimes
had a hard time understanding why she treated me so differently. On the other
hand, I always received my explanations from my great-grandmother whom I called "
Mema". I am not the only individual who considered her to be this type of
caring person. Everyone that had known her, thought she was remarkable.
Unfortunately, she started getting ill and during her times of need, I
took care of her. in this time frame I knew that she was going to leave me soon.
I was fourteen and dealing with a lot of changes in my life. I wish Josephine
did not have to be one of those changes. Although, she was, but the good thing,
is that she died without suffering. She was never afraid of death because she
considered it to be another continuation of life. However, I could not deal
with the pain of being without my great-grandmother.
I am now in eighth grade, not too happy to be here. But I know that I
have to go to school. I felt like nothing. My mother will not stop beating me.
I don't want to live anymore. My grades are dropping in school. In result of,
principle has called my mother because I am getting into so much trouble. Why
me? I asked. Why can't I just die to be with my great-grandmother? I wanted
nothing more than to be with her. I was not afraid of death. That is because I
know she is there for me. Well, I thought it over how can I do this so no one
will suspect that I am losing my mind. "Hey Brandie, do you want to go to this
party we are having for Kelly this Saturday?" Sure, I'll be there. No one will
know what I am thinking. I will be going to this party this Saturday whether my
mother likes it or not. She will not stop me.
Like I said, my mother tried to stop me but it did not work. I went
anyway. I arrived at about 8:00 p.m. So many people are here. How are you all
doing tonight? Is there anything to drink? I asked. Well, a few people that
I knew were bringing some alcohol. So, I made a plan to go to the park around
the block and drink with a few people. After about an hour, I was drunk. At
that time I did not know that I was drinking so much. I was drinking straight
vodka like it was water. I was having invasions that I was with my great-
grandmother. I felt great! It was such a feeling. Someone yelled to me, "The
cops are coming run." I turned so fast and was running into the darkness of the
night.
I woke up, "Where the fuck am I, what am I doing here, where is my
mother, why me, why do I have to live?" All these questions came to my mind
when I had awoken from my coma. I was so frightened by this. Not that I was in
the hospital, but what my mother was going to do to me. I can not remember what
had happened to me after I started to run from the cops. Let me tell you what
my friends told me. They found me at 3:00 am in the middle of a basketball
court (the worst park in town), unconscious. I was wearing a tank top and
shorts, in November. The boys who had found me said that I was choking on my
vomit and I almost froze to death. The doctor told me that I was so close to
dying that evening. I said to myself, "Why am I still living then, didn't you
want me to be with you?". He said that I could have frozen to death, choked on
my vomit, been raped, had alcohol poisoning and never waking from coma. It was
a miracle the doctor said. I don't understand, why was I so close and it did
not happen. There must have been a reason.
Well, I have learned from this experience. I have learned that you do
not have to kill yourself to be with someone who had died. They are there with
you all the time as long as you have faith. In order to survive in the world
today one must keep their faith in God and strive for your dreams and one should
have happiness in some way.